By Cass Buggé

*The Long Wait is a letter series celebrating our favorite gathering places, in support of raising proceeds for the 86Fund.*

Created by Fyrn in San Francisco.

May 10, 2021

All this time without going into restaurants and bars has made me ruminate, process, and pretend to journal (I’ll never be a journaler, but I’ve bought so many journals), and in a great turn of surprises, find myself thinking: L&E Oyster Bar. . . I think I’m in love with you.

I wasn’t out there looking for my dream bar.

I was just looking to get a drink at a place somewhere close by so I could walk, rather than drive, home - and there you were.

Frankly, you could have been anything - you could have had sticky floors; I could have found dog hair on the bar and I’d probably still frequent you because my only requirement was not to pay for parking or a ride. Given the time I’ve had to myself, sitting in sweatpants on my couch, sipping White Claw from a can, I’ve been taking stock of the things that I miss most. . .and I miss you. I miss the smell of your skinny, perfectly cooked French fries being carried across the dining room, prompting anyone in sniffing distance to order them too. I miss swooning over the seafood tower as it’s set at the too small table next to me, wondering if it was ordered in celebration of something in particular, or if the people about to eat it had deep enough pockets to ask for it any day.

I miss your Happy Hour menu, a thing normally reserved for a pauper’s palette. Yet yours, L&E, was so princely: salmon sliced to shimmering translucence, tinted by the cure of blushing beetroot; delicate, briny oysters on a half-shell from the east and west coasts, and just to keep things grounded--homemade pimento cheese. God, you know what makes me weak in the knees? Vintage, short- stemmed crystal martini glasses, etched old-fashioned glasses, beers served in tulips, pilsners, or pints. I’ve been drinking wine in a coffee cup without you and I hate myself.

I keep trying to think about the last time I went to you. It pains me to say I can’t recall. Of course not, why would I? It’s like the last time you kiss a lover without knowing that they’re about to break your heart. You look back, after the fact, and think: If only I had known that that would be the last time. I would have slowed every moment, moved as if I was dining under water. I would have ordered a bottle of wine, not just a glass; I would have gotten the goddamned seafood tower; I would have stayed until closing. I would have looked at every other diner, would have taken in their faces, their outfits. I would have listened in on their conversations. I would have drunk enough booze/beer/wine/tower to get hung over for days. Enough to hug a stranger and say something only drunk people say like “I don’t understand how we’re not best friends!”

I would have pulled out my credit card and bought a round for everybody. I would have taken half eaten French fries from another table’s plate and mumbled something like “Mmmph, whatever, this is the last call for other people’s germs in my bare naked face.” I would have rubbed my hands all over your sturdy dishware if I’d known I would be eating out of limp plastic to-go containers for what feels like forever.

I would have tried to steal a stool right off the bar so you would have stopped me and said “Lady, you’re crazy and you’re never allowed back.” . . . because then at least I could at least pretend that I’ve been away all this time because you didn’t want anything to do with me.

Cass Buggé

Cass Buggé is a writer whose work has been featured in the New Yorker, i-D, Beat, Mothertongue and Outside Magazine. She's developed television shows with some people famous enough that her mother doesn't have to Google who they are. She's appeared in various television shows on Netflix, HBO, FX, Showtime, Apple tv, Comedy Central and Amazon.

If this letter stirred memories of an experience you've had at L&E Oyster Bar, share it with us in the comments.

L&E Oyster Bar is open for sidewalk dining! Consider paying them a visit if you're in LA.

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